Season of Preparation

It's been 7 days since my last post. I really don't want to go that long but life has been...well it's been life.

I am cutting myself some slack here because my own worst critic is me and in the back of my mind are thoughts like, "See...you can't do this. You said you were going to post twice a week and you didn't do it...again." Even thoughts like, "Who wants to read all of this anyway? Who are you?" Truth is, those are straight from the enemy and I can't entertain them. So rather than beat myself up with the words, I ask God to help me know what needs to be shared and to help me give myself the same grace I am so quick to offer those around me.

Part of what has had me distracted from writing here is that I have been writing in my journal every day as I am reading through a Lent reading plan. Maybe you're like me and you didn't grow up observing Lent and you don't really know what it is all about. Lent is a season of reflection and preparation before the celebrations of Easter (Resurrection Sunday). In observing the 40 days of Lent, Christians take the time to reflect on Jesus Christ's sacrifice and withdrawal into the desert for 40 days. Many will take this time to fast because this is what Jesus did during His time in the wilderness. There are many ways to observe this season of the church calendar and I chose to join the She Reads Truth team and read through their plan.

I am also excited for this plan because I decided to dive into my new journal with this one. If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen my story a couple of weeks ago about the Grit & Virtue journal I received and how much I was looking forward to using it.

So on Monday, March 11, I sat down with the lovely new journal, my fun gel pens, and opened the She Reads Truth app and began reading the book of Job. Now, you may be confused on how reading through Job is connecting us to Lent, but my friends, let me tell you something! God is God even in our suffering and He speaks to us in the midst of it. Today is day 10 and we're already on chapter 17. I have read this book so many times but taking the time to read through it like this is like seeing it fresh.

We've read about why there is human suffering and how Job shows us that no matter what we face, God is faithful in all circumstances. The hindsight we have from Job gives us hope in the midst of our own struggles and trials. We've looked at Job's sorrowful outcry to God and how it's okay for us to let it all out with God because He already knows anyway! The best thing we can do it to lay our feelings at His feet, to expose them to air and light. We've read three speeches from two of Job's friends (I use that term loosely cause, who needs these kind of friends? Yikes.) and Job's responses to them. Seriously. Sometimes you just need people to sit with you while you grieve, not to try to fix it with their attempts at deep wisdom that really just make you feel worse than you already do. We had a day to just remember that God is good. In chapter 38, God talks to Job and says, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand." In other words, "Stay in your lane." God knows ALL. God is ALL. He's not surprised by anything we see or walk through. He's not surprised by the choices we make or how the choices of others affects us. He is the God who gives and He is the God who takes away and regardless of the situation, Blessed be the name of the Lord! We spent time looking at the misapplied theology of Job's friends as they offer advice that does hold some truth but is twisted. Job responds with speaking of God's unchanging, always faithful, character. He shows us today how to wrestle with God - how to be real and raw - in a healthy manner. There is the time we see unrelenting hope from Job in 13:15, "Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him;"

Friends, we serve a faithful God who DOES restore our lives and comforts us in our pain.

Today's reading, though, Oh today! Today we see Jesus.

19 Even now my witness is in heaven;

my advocate is on high.

20 My intercessor is my friend

as my eyes pour out tears to God;

21 on behalf of a man he pleads with God

as one pleads for a friend. Job 16:19-22

Here are some questions from the devotional part of this plan for today, Day 10: "What does true faithfulness look like, both for the one who comforts and the one who suffers? What part does prayer play in our suffering? What does it mean to bring all our emotions-even our anger, doubt and feelings of betrayal-before God?"

This is what I want to help all of us understand. This is what it means to wrestle with God. Our time in prayer, time spent with God, is what builds our relationship with Him, creating the comfort and ability to tell God how we really feel because, as we've already stated and, HELLO, He already knows. So just let Him in. Tell Him and let Him do the comforting and healing only He can do.

Job just truly longed for the brokenness of what he saw in his relationship with God to be repaired. He wasn't going to turn from God. He knew, regardless of what his "helpful" friends were saying, that he hadn't done anything wrong. What he does remember is who he is. Not God.

A supportive verse included in today's scripture readings is from Romans.

I have written about it before. I am an Enneagram Type 2. That means I am emotional and I don't just see people, I feel them. I know it's not on the list of spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians but I believe that one of mine is empathy. Verses like this one, Romans 12:15, is a confirmation for me. I can connect on emotional levels with others in ways many cannot. One friend told me she believes it my way of interceding for people - that I have a unique ability to feel and know what they're going through.

We have quite a ways still to go in Job and I am here for it. The suffering, the wrestling, the restoring.

Won't. He. Do. It.