It's Okay If You're Not

Listen. This season isn't easy and eventually we're going to have a day when it all comes down. Mine was today.

My personality is one to serve--to look out for others and make sure others have what they need and it can often times happen at the expense of my own ______fill in the blank. I have grown a lot and I am not great at the whole self-care, admitting I am not okay, thing but I do okay. Today I felt it rising up little by little as the day progressed. I reached out to my BFF and admitted to another dear friend when she called that I was just feeling the weight of it all. I am grateful for those people in my life who allow me space to feel what I feel, to encourage me and pray for me, and even offer to help me through it in various ways.

I am a crier so I cried...three times. I wasn't the only one in my house who had felt enough today and had a brief meltdown.

IT IS OKAY.

I AM OKAY.

WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAY.

It isn't easy. It's not going to be sunshine and lollipops every day. We're going to want to scream and cry and quit. What matters is that we don't give up. What matters is that we reach out and let our people in.

This season is especially hard because it's not as easy, no it's just not the same. I am thankful to have my family in my home. None of us are isolated without physical interaction. But you know what? My family can't fill every social need I have. God gives us community for a reason and right now that is just not happening in the ways it is meant to. So it's okay to feel it. It's okay to be sad and angry and feel grief that doesn't make sense.

Here is what I know in spite of all of this that we're living with now.

THERE. IS. MORE.

The hope we have cannot be found in human hands or worldly means. Our hope that we can feel way down deep is only found in the faith we hold to in Jesus Christ Himself. It keeps us steady though the winds and waves rage around us. It supports us in the flood. It shelters us in the storm.

The sun will rise again tomorrow and a new day will begin with new mercy.

And that's what I am holding to. I hope you do, too.